Mind Your Business
The Holidays are upon us. For most this is a joyous time to spend with friends and loved ones. For others, comes increased anxiety (or just plain annoyance for some) about topics they aren’t quite enthused about discussing.
With an increased campaign encouraging people to mind their own business, you’d be surprised how many people still haven’t mastered this. A few days prior to the dawn of 2019 I made a post in jest about certain topics that were currently no one’s business and would still be no one else’s concern in the coming year and beyond.
Of the 7 topics, there are 2 that I hear frequently amongst friends and social media conversations: 1. When a couple plans to take their relationship to the next level and 2. when a more established couple or child-bearing aged woman plans to start having children. Most inquiries into this area of a person’s life have a harmless intent. But despite how good or bad the intentions, one fact remains: It’s none of your business.
Most people who find themselves on the receiving end of these questions want to scream this to the mountain tops but political correctness usually prevents them from doing so. Maybe that couple just got through a really rough patch and they aren’t sure what their next step is now. Or what about that guy who just told his longtime girlfriend that he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to be married? She’s been dealing with how to move forward and your question just thrust her into a whirlwind of emotions. Did you know that that couple you pressed about having kids had been trying for years and either just lost a baby or saw another negative pregnancy test? What about the 36 year old woman that knows her clock is ticking but just got another diagnosis that leaves her wondering if she’ll ever be able to conceive? Or maybe they’re just not ready and don’t feel the need to rush based on someone else’s timeline.
Often times we don’t think about how our questions will affect others, but some of our queries can lead to a decreased emotional state. I had the opportunity to survey over fifty individuals personally and via social media. Initially I posed the question to women but I was surprised to see how many men chimed into the conversation. The general consensus was that these questions simply aren’t anyone else’s business. (I’d break it down into percentages but I’m terrible at math so, there’s that). So before you take a seat at the table this holiday season, reconsider prying into someone else’s life. And if you tend to be the person on the receiving end of these questions, set boundaries in regards to what you are willing to divulge. It’s ok to tell people that your life does not need to be the topic of discussion this year or any other year. Happy Holidays!